Some Useful French Expressions
Elle pète plus haut que son cul
Literally: she farts higher than her bottom (She’s up herself)
Elle m’a posé un lapin
Literally: She left me a rabbit (She stood me up)
Elle est partie comme un pet sur une toile cirée
She left (as quickly) as a fart on tarpaulin
Là, tu encules des mouches.
Literally: You’re sodomising flies (Splitting hairs)
Avoir une taupe a la caisse
To have a mole at the check-out (to really want to do number twos)
Je l’ai eu le doigt dans le nez/cul
Literally: I got it (e.g. passed an exam) with my finger in my nose/bottom (i.e. very easily)
The Secret Life of France 
Very useful. I shall use these expressions with my neighbours at once.
aillame veri choquingue baille disse choyce.
Il existe en France des expressions moins triviales comme :
aller faire caca derrière un buisson
avoir le cigare au bord des lèvres
se pisser dessus
et plein d’autres aussi romantiques !
Now if French language classes at school had taught those alongside verbs etc. I think I might have been a bit more interested. Brilliant!
You’re sodomising flies is my favourite.
Fantastic. I love the fart on the tarpaulin – pure poetry.