Five Foot, Six Inches

I’ve been asked to clarify the notion of the sex dwarf.

As I said when I first began to write about the current French president, the term is not meant to be disparaging. It may seem a little disingenuous to say that it is meant as a compliment, but it’s true. I see Nicolas Sarkozy as one of a long and illustrious line of men who choose to make up in libido* what they lack in stature.

I’m not going to share here my reasons for believing that Nicolas Sarkozy is a sex dwarf. I will simply say two things: he is short (5ft6 is short, especially if your wife is 5ft9) and – as has been both widely observed and repeatedly suppressed – he is sexually predatory.

From Ancient Egypt to Aubrey Beardsley, sex dwarves have peopled mythology and haunted the human imagination. Dynamos of erotic energy, powering both the ego and the id, they are life’s doers (and shaggers). My reason for dwelling on this aspect of his person? I do not think that politics alone are sufficient to explain his baffling conquest, first of the French people and then of Carla Bruni. I suspect that the French nation was seduced, as was Carla, by the sheer force of the man’s will to power and, while I cannot speak for the latter, the former seems to have woken up the morning after the election either shaken or appalled by the dark forces that drove them to choose this nietzschean superman over his distinctly chaste adversary, the rather goody goody daddy’s girl – Segolene Royal. (I also think we can agree that whatever one may feel about the man’s policies, life in France would have been considerably less interesting if they had not.)

* |ləˈbēdō|noun ( pl. -dos): the energy of the sexual drive as a component of the life instinct (Psychoanalysis)


6 thoughts on “Five Foot, Six Inches

  1. Sex dwarf.

    Sorry but this is derogatory. Dwarves are humans with feelings. You can’t compare them to Sarkozy without thinking it will hurt them.

    Height impaired sexually hyperactive bipolar semi dictator is a better name for that joke. He is chronic and mental – shame that analysis was not more heard before the elections ie too late.

  2. Hello, Boz. Re ‘chaste’: I suppose I was speaking more in terms of political iconography than what Sego might actually be like: her choice of white clothes through much of the election campaign was studied, I think. As for the ‘daddy’s girl’ epithet, I think it can be attributed to a girl who craves and doesn’t receive her father’s affection – but that could just be me. LW

  3. Interesting analysis…I’m not quite sure I agree with your description of Segolene Royal on the chaste adjective considering her rather colorful description of trying to bring Francois Bayrou on as PM in her post-election book. As for being “goody goody daddy’s girl”, if that’s the perception you had, it’s somewhat in complete contradiction with her own relationship with her father.

  4. dear Lucy
    Re The Sex Dwarf
    Can you please report in full and without reference to any privacy laws exactly the nature and extent of marital rumours regarding the aforementioned sex dwarf and towering consort?
    Lots of love

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