Five Foot, Six Inches

I’ve been asked to clarify the notion of the sex dwarf.

As I said when I first began to write about the current French president, the term is not meant to be disparaging. It may seem a little disingenuous to say that it is meant as a compliment, but it’s true. I see Nicolas Sarkozy as one of a long and illustrious line of men who choose to make up in libido* what they lack in stature.

I’m not going to share here my reasons for believing that Nicolas Sarkozy is a sex dwarf. I will simply say two things: he is short (5ft6 is short, especially if your wife is 5ft9) and – as has been both widely observed and repeatedly suppressed – he is sexually predatory.

From Ancient Egypt to Aubrey Beardsley, sex dwarves have peopled mythology and haunted the human imagination. Dynamos of erotic energy, powering both the ego and the id, they are life’s doers (and shaggers). My reason for dwelling on this aspect of his person? I do not think that politics alone are sufficient to explain his baffling conquest, first of the French people and then of Carla Bruni. I suspect that the French nation was seduced, as was Carla, by the sheer force of the man’s will to power and, while I cannot speak for the latter, the former seems to have woken up the morning after the election either shaken or appalled by the dark forces that drove them to choose this nietzschean superman over his distinctly chaste adversary, the rather goody goody daddy’s girl – Segolene Royal. (I also think we can agree that whatever one may feel about the man’s policies, life in France would have been considerably less interesting if they had not.)

* |ləˈbēdō|noun ( pl. -dos): the energy of the sexual drive as a component of the life instinct (Psychoanalysis)